Ten Random Things About Johnny [My Student, My Friend]

Johnny [Surname Unknown]

1. Johnny hates insects. He cringes at the thought of wriggling maggots and caterpillars.
2. Johnny falls asleep in my class. I often ask him, "Am I boring?" But he often says no and he's sorry. He just feels tired in my class.
3. His class with me starts at 4 PM and ends at 6 PM.
4. He doesn't like the smell of vinegar and he calls buko pie "jellyfish pie".
5. He has dragon pajamas.
6. He loves boy bawang.
7. He sleeps in the middle of a writing activity.
8. He asks weird things like, "Why is the man's stick standing?"
9. He played "Who Has the Biggest Brain" once, and he laughed when he found out he only had a brain as big as that of an Ape Man. Take note though, that he's exceptionally gifted.
10. He can be crazy at times, but he's one of the sweetest students I've known.

Ten Random Things About Paul [My Student, My Friend]

Paul Choi

1. Paul always tells me he's going to quit smoking. He fails every time he tries.
2. Paul has a certificate for having completed the 250-kilometer hike in Jeju Island. He gave it to me on my birthday.
3. Paul is talkative.
4. Paul is a sadist. He likes hurting people, well, physically. ^^
5. Paul is not a hard drinker. Haha.
6. Paul has a big tummy. If he weren't a boy, you would've thought he's pregnant.
7. Paul is very funny and he doesn't run out of things to say.
8. I love calling him "Gossip Boy".
9. Paul says he's not a playboy. Don't believe him.
10. Paul loves Grace so much. He's unbelievably sweet. I'm really happy for both of them.

Photo #3: WELS Christmas Tree

Taken on the 27th of November, 2009

I love the tree and the people who made it.
Thanks, teachers.
Without it, Christmas wouldn't be felt in the office.

Random Rant [Again]

Alvin celebrated his birthday last Wednesday. With some of our closest friends coming over after work, we dared defy the raging winds and the exaggerated flood filling the entire street right outside Alvin's house. The night started with a few songs which then led to a little kantiyawan over Alvin's preempted previous relationship with someone whose name I'd rather not mention. It was fun, as I missed being with these people who can actually talk rhetorically without even trying really hard to.

***

I fought so hard to pull back tears as I watched Cory's funeral procession dated Wednesday evening. It's been a long time since I realized how proud I am as a Filipino and now I felt it amidst the country's loss of a truly remarkable leader. She's a woman who has indeed shown the people that yes, Filipinos who are like her are worth fighting, living and dying for.

***

Inconsistencies never cease to baffle and frustrate me. In simple situations like salary computations, beliefs, opinions and emotions, love and friendship, I notice that people never become stuck to one train of thought. Everything depends upon other things and the hardest part about it is not the inconsistency per se, rather the adjustment that they have to make in order to understand it.

***

By nature, we are vain. We just don't want to confess because we perceive vanity as a negative term. Perhaps the negative part of being vain is its effects on other people who do not understand it.

Enchanted Kingdom

Good Riddance

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind

Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial

For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.
-Good Riddance, Green Day

Jax's last day at WELS Academy
Taken on the 24th of July, 2009

Rock on, Sir Jax.

Back to the Meaning of Life

Andy, Borgy and I have a midnight routine of walking from Emerald Avenue to Shaw Boulevard. On the way, we always stop at Nutrilicious to sit down and talk about issues at work and at home. Andy buys green tea, Borgy buys his mango drink, and I always go for chocolate. We smoke, laugh and sometimes sit in silence, not because we run out of words but perhaps we just want to have our share of private thoughts.

We go over frustrations at work. We think about what would happen in the next few days. Andy talks more so most of the time, Borgy just counters his claims or gives his opinions on the issues and I just listen and respond whenever I deem appropriate. At some point in our conversation last Friday, Andy initiated a topic about the path that he passionately aims to take.

Passion, as I see it, is a term so profound yet so commonly misused these days. It may refer to an intense desire to do something, or a flaming will to have somebody. Sexually, passion begets passion by an individual who expresses with no holds barred. Intellectually, it may involve religious yearning for knowledge. Professionally, it may refer to sustaining the kind of living that an individual has without losing the interest he exerts everyday.

While Andy was talking about his thoughts about his career and his short-term plans, I stared at him with my mind filled with irrelevant thoughts about what I should do once I get home, what I would do in the next couple of hours and what my breakfast would be.

Anyway, at the back of my mind, I told myself: Would I be like them? Would I be able to sustain this kind of determination to handle responsibility? Yes, I work, but will I still want to do this in the next few years?

Relatively, some filipinos have a negative trait called ningas kugon; a habit in which an individual is driven to accomplish something and in the long run loses the will to continue. Regardless of the reasons or excuses provided for the sudden loss of interest, the trait hinders a person from being spontaneous in thoughts, goals, words and actions. By failing to realize the need to finish the task, people involved in the plans are slowly affected, thus creating a bigger flaw in the movement of goals on a bigger scale.

Passion, in this regard, may seem essential, as it pushes an individual to do more. In this society where one thinks it's hopeless to make a small thing matter, passion influences people to be more intrisically motivated, thus, making them more efficient in doing the things they really want to do. Because of this, even the smallest actions become important and even the simple thoughts are given life.

To answer my question: honestly, I have no idea.

Fast forward--He asked me a question this evening while we were having our usual Nutrilicious break.

"Are you happy?"

Then I smiled.

"You mean, with everything?"

"Yup, are you generally happy?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Why are you happy?"

It depends on how you define happiness; then I stopped for a split-second to figure out if what I said was correct.

People have different definitions of happiness. If you put it that way, it's like saying that happiness is relative. Is it?

I am happy because I have money, work and food.

More significantly, I am happy because I know I am loved. I know how imperfect I am but people still decide to understand me for who who I can never be. At times I feel frustrated that I cannot make things happen as I want them but I pull strings and at the end of each string, something good still happens. I am happy because I know how to love. To express this in so blunt a statement makes it sound insincere, but yes, I know how to give love. I can look at people and tell them that I can be so emotionally attached; no more, no less. Just love. Finally, I am happy because regardless of how flawed my world could be, I can still make ends meet. At the end of the day, I can still tell myself that Hallelujah, life is good.

If there is anything more I could wish for, it is for people to realize that they are happy to have me.

Going back to the question he imposed in our conversation, I looked at him, smiled, sipped the remaining contents of my cup and finally threw my yosi.

Just like a line from a movie, I told him, "I'm happy--well, not all day everyday, but yeah, everyday."

The topic was followed by the same bastusan and green jokes that we never grew out of.

Last question, however irrelevant this may be: Can something nutricious be delicious?

Of course. Haha.

Twelve Very Random Ideas Just Popped Out of My Head

1. I need a foot spa, a hair spa, and all the other kinds of comfort I could get. My feet look horrible and my body feels internally grotesque.

2. I'm wearing a dress I swear I'm never going to wear ever again..unless I'm out to reveal deflated souls [out of humiliation] to guys.

3. I am so tired, I'm thinking of getting a powernap for 10 minutes after every hour or whenever I could get some time to close my eyes. I need time to replenish vigor.

4. I need a little brush up on my grammar, listening and speaking skills. Christ, I need a chair, a white board and an English Instructor.

5. ...and while I'm at it, I think I also need an enrichment on my vocabulary. My word bank is getting rusty.

6. Prepositions are starting to drive me mad. When I was at school I rarely [almost never] had any problem with preps. What the devil has gotten into me?

7. I love attention, a little, or even more, but I hate the idea of people looking at you and swaying eyeballs from head to foot and up again. If I ever see a pair right now, by grace of the almighty, I'll get the keys out of my bag and poke it straight into those eyes.

8. Oh, I'm starting to sound like a bitch, and starting to ACTUALLY BE like one. It's exciting.

9. Currently listening to songs you wouldn't want in your music players.

10. Currently finding ways to make new interests out of lacklusterness.

11. I can hear sarcasm in my own voice. I'm working on it on a daily basis. Hurray for efforts.

12. I love this number. :D

Plasticity and Parasitism

In science, there is a term coined to refer to the ability of matter to extend, flex and bend its form. As far as I can remember it's elasticity. It's probably in this same context that Filipinos start using an inexistent and grammatically erring term such as plasticity to refer to people who tend to fake their perceptions of other people so they can be politically pleasing.

While writing this down, I realized that this has been the longest entry I have done since March.

To conform and avoid social disputes, people either ignore or secrectly converse with other people about idiosyncrasies of everyone around them. Most of us say, we're TRUE to ourselves and HONEST to those we talk to, but up to what extent can we really attest to this self-declared truth? Naturally, we won't admit that we talk about other people because of the agreement that we have settled with those we speak with, by saying "oy, secret lang to ha.." Nonetheless, we know for a fact that in front of those we talk about, we're like innocent children pretending that we care.

How many of your friends can you truly call friends? How many of your workmates can you easily get along with? Who among your siblings come to you to ask how you've been without asking for money? Who among your friends can hug you without making stern expressions behind your back?

Some of us treat friendship as a parasitic relationship in which one benefits when the other is harmed. We think they're harmless because they initially come in beautiful packages. What we don't know is we slowly get killed in their desire and hunger to take what we own, because they hate having nothing for themselves.

Some of us treat friendshp as a social agreement in which in order to be socially considerate we take pride in dealing with people who we know we can't really like no matter what we do.

To some, this is what they call "pakikisama", a euphemism for farce rapport between and among you and your friends. To some, it's what they call being true, yet ironically being a coward for partly revealing what they call truth. To some it is plasticity, a special term used to refer to having no choice but to deal with people you don't like.

This kind of attitude is something one cannot easily remove from modern Filipino culture. No matter how you look at it, however it is accepted by people, one thing remains true--life would be a lot better if people will just be oblivious about everything.

Ignorance is bliss.

The Miracle Run

I met new people to admire.
I got closer to my workmates.
I did what I never thought I could.
I ran for people who couldn't.
I memorized UP Ikot's route without studying in UP.
I ran for a cause.
I ran 10 kilometers.
I realized there's more to life than smoking.
I have been exposed to more challenges.
This is Exactly Why They Called It a Miracle Run.
I got a shirt that says:

I MADE A DIFFERENCE.

Next plan: Wall Climbing at EcoPark
Next Plan after EcoPark: Hiking to a mountain and
spending the whole day helping indigenous people.
I'M REALLY LOOKING WORWARD TO IT.

The Working Dilemma

I'm killing myself. Slowly killing myself. I work from 5 in the morning to 9, then go home and sleep and go back to Ortigas to work in another company from 6 to eleven. Now I don't know what has just gotten into me, I decided to have a full time shift for my first company. This is great.

Last night, before I went home, I went to my friend's house to give him something that he borrowed from Brix. When I got there, I realized how extraordinarily dull my life has become these days. He said he envied me because I have started working already and he's still a bum, waiting for an opportunity to come his way. The more he remarked about me being thin and sick-looking, the more I felt stupid for deciding to dig my own grave.

Because of all this stress, frustration and farce confidence, I am losing people around me. I am normally cynical and grumpy towards my mom, and now that I work, these traits have increased and sadly, they can't and don't want to tolerate it.

When I wake up in the morning, I don't talk to them anymore because I have to rush to the bathroom, take a bath, dress up and leave immediately for work. When I get home, I go up and just sleep without even looking at them. I once thought things would be way better off if I stay there without talking to them but you know, I still miss having a decent conversation with people I don't teach.

I have lost time for school. Last week I was supposed to process my clearance but because of work, I became so tired and lazy to even think of going to Intramuros for it.

I am so tired. I want to go back to being a student. If only I could.

I would have been okay, if only I could still have everything in my hands while doing these things. Pero hindi eh. Little by little, I manage to eat alone, smoke alone, do things alone. I have never felt this before.

Despite these challenges, I have things I can still be thankful for. I am confident that I still have friends who understand. I am confident that the ring I'm wearing around my finger still has a meaning. I want to keep it that way.

Today I have realized one thing: I tend to give more because I don't really need much for myself.

Ringlish Christmas Party

Ringlish Christmas Bash at Linden Suites Tower II.

December 20, 2008.

Happy Christmas everyone!! Smile^^,

Rabbitcam Episode 1

This is the Pilot episode for my new Interview show, which is Rabbitcam.

This show will be also under Rabbit Productions of course. For episode 1, I interviewed my colleague Mia, who apparently, was very much ready for the interview.

I know that this episode looks really raw but I'm working on learning new techniques on video editing so don't worry, after a few episodes, I'll try to blow you guys away.

Thanks to Nica (East-sea), and to Mia of course!! See you next Friday for Episode 2!!

Last Day Sa WELS

The WELS People

Lower L to R:

Joseph (UP Dude)-Graduating din siya, at English din ang major niya.

Melanie-Bagong Salta

Grace-Bagong Salta din

Ice (UP Dudette)-Graduate na 24 years ago, ahaha. RN din siya, Yosi Buddy.

EQ (See you around buddy)-Bagong Salta ulit.

Upper L to R:

Angel (TL na naka Nakaorange)-Kabagang, kapatid, BFF

Rezel (Anime Voice na nakapink)-Tinrain ko nung umalis ako last summer

Kaia (Blogger)-Di ko pa ata narinig tong nagtagalog

Teacher Jax (My Coordinator)-Ang cool leader ng lahat ng teachers.

Borgy (Kabagang)-Ang mapagmahal kong kaibigan.

Jing (The Morning Teacher na Tambay pag Gabi)-Ako Yun, yung binuhat ni Papa Borgs

Ayo (Lover ni Leonard)-Taga UP (ata), Curriculum Developer

Gleslie-Di kami close

Evelyn (The 80's Rocker)-Wala akong masabi. Ang ganda ng taste sa music.

Andy (My Papa)-Ang 40-year old teacher na mukhang 25.

Sarah (Bagong Salta)-Kabagang ni EQ.

Leonard-na parang unggoy na isiniksik ang sarili sa picture makita lang ng matino.

Thanks for all the memories. I'm proud to be a part of this company.

Happy Birthday Abby!

Happy birthday to the very dangerous Abby! *smiles*

Happy Birthday Lizzie!

Keep rocking dear Liezl!! ^&^

Bored and Sleepy

I'm a bit bored today at work. I slept for almost 10 hours last night but I feel a bit sleepy. That's why I decided to create this blog post. I carefully arranged some of my things at my desk with a doodle I made for about 5 minutes and took a picture of it. Here's how it turned out:

I love my Jingie. ^__________^