I feel like someone's singing this to me. XD
I Don't Think I Love You-Hoobastank
Wonder why it is that you don't see
What you've changed since we first met
And how much that is killing me
I know that I will always miss
The butterflies of our first kiss
And how you use to smile so easily
Chorus:
I wish that we could go back
To what we were before
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore
Bridge:
It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore
I'm sorry, I'm sorryI never thought that it will come to this
I know we'll never get back
To how we were before
Cuz I know that I don't love you anymore
Monday, June 29, 2009
Traffic in My Head
This is the third time this week
That I find myself wandering down your street - and I can't seem to give it up.
I've even stopped making these excuses for why you're stuck here in my thoughts
When it's been long enough.
I try to keep myself moving, but I'm not going anywhere..
I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget
Guess I should be happy now
Everything is back to how it was
Before you came around
I'm already changing
I've even tried to find a new distraction
But still you surround
As if it's not hard enough
And I try to keep myself moving
but i'm not going anywhere
I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget
A part of me thinks that i'm going crazy
The world's spinning
My vision is hazy
And none of this makes any sense
I never meant for this to end
I can do what I have to do..
If I could only get around you
I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget.
That I find myself wandering down your street - and I can't seem to give it up.
I've even stopped making these excuses for why you're stuck here in my thoughts
When it's been long enough.
I try to keep myself moving, but I'm not going anywhere..
I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget
Guess I should be happy now
Everything is back to how it was
Before you came around
I'm already changing
I've even tried to find a new distraction
But still you surround
As if it's not hard enough
And I try to keep myself moving
but i'm not going anywhere
I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget
A part of me thinks that i'm going crazy
The world's spinning
My vision is hazy
And none of this makes any sense
I never meant for this to end
I can do what I have to do..
If I could only get around you
I wait in the same spot
Brain like a parking lot
You're the traffic in my head
You're the reason why i'm wrecked
I pray for it to stop
Like rain on the sidewalk
Traffic in my head
You're the traffic in my head
There's just too much to forget.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Back to the Meaning of Life
Andy, Borgy and I have a midnight routine of walking from Emerald Avenue to Shaw Boulevard. On the way, we always stop at Nutrilicious to sit down and talk about issues at work and at home. Andy buys green tea, Borgy buys his mango drink, and I always go for chocolate. We smoke, laugh and sometimes sit in silence, not because we run out of words but perhaps we just want to have our share of private thoughts.
We go over frustrations at work. We think about what would happen in the next few days. Andy talks more so most of the time, Borgy just counters his claims or gives his opinions on the issues and I just listen and respond whenever I deem appropriate. At some point in our conversation last Friday, Andy initiated a topic about the path that he passionately aims to take.
Passion, as I see it, is a term so profound yet so commonly misused these days. It may refer to an intense desire to do something, or a flaming will to have somebody. Sexually, passion begets passion by an individual who expresses with no holds barred. Intellectually, it may involve religious yearning for knowledge. Professionally, it may refer to sustaining the kind of living that an individual has without losing the interest he exerts everyday.
While Andy was talking about his thoughts about his career and his short-term plans, I stared at him with my mind filled with irrelevant thoughts about what I should do once I get home, what I would do in the next couple of hours and what my breakfast would be.
Anyway, at the back of my mind, I told myself: Would I be like them? Would I be able to sustain this kind of determination to handle responsibility? Yes, I work, but will I still want to do this in the next few years?
Relatively, some filipinos have a negative trait called ningas kugon; a habit in which an individual is driven to accomplish something and in the long run loses the will to continue. Regardless of the reasons or excuses provided for the sudden loss of interest, the trait hinders a person from being spontaneous in thoughts, goals, words and actions. By failing to realize the need to finish the task, people involved in the plans are slowly affected, thus creating a bigger flaw in the movement of goals on a bigger scale.
Passion, in this regard, may seem essential, as it pushes an individual to do more. In this society where one thinks it's hopeless to make a small thing matter, passion influences people to be more intrisically motivated, thus, making them more efficient in doing the things they really want to do. Because of this, even the smallest actions become important and even the simple thoughts are given life.
To answer my question: honestly, I have no idea.
Fast forward--He asked me a question this evening while we were having our usual Nutrilicious break.
"Are you happy?"
Then I smiled.
"You mean, with everything?"
"Yup, are you generally happy?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Why are you happy?"
It depends on how you define happiness; then I stopped for a split-second to figure out if what I said was correct.
People have different definitions of happiness. If you put it that way, it's like saying that happiness is relative. Is it?
I am happy because I have money, work and food.
More significantly, I am happy because I know I am loved. I know how imperfect I am but people still decide to understand me for who who I can never be. At times I feel frustrated that I cannot make things happen as I want them but I pull strings and at the end of each string, something good still happens. I am happy because I know how to love. To express this in so blunt a statement makes it sound insincere, but yes, I know how to give love. I can look at people and tell them that I can be so emotionally attached; no more, no less. Just love. Finally, I am happy because regardless of how flawed my world could be, I can still make ends meet. At the end of the day, I can still tell myself that Hallelujah, life is good.
If there is anything more I could wish for, it is for people to realize that they are happy to have me.
Going back to the question he imposed in our conversation, I looked at him, smiled, sipped the remaining contents of my cup and finally threw my yosi.
Just like a line from a movie, I told him, "I'm happy--well, not all day everyday, but yeah, everyday."
The topic was followed by the same bastusan and green jokes that we never grew out of.
Last question, however irrelevant this may be: Can something nutricious be delicious?
Of course. Haha.
We go over frustrations at work. We think about what would happen in the next few days. Andy talks more so most of the time, Borgy just counters his claims or gives his opinions on the issues and I just listen and respond whenever I deem appropriate. At some point in our conversation last Friday, Andy initiated a topic about the path that he passionately aims to take.
Passion, as I see it, is a term so profound yet so commonly misused these days. It may refer to an intense desire to do something, or a flaming will to have somebody. Sexually, passion begets passion by an individual who expresses with no holds barred. Intellectually, it may involve religious yearning for knowledge. Professionally, it may refer to sustaining the kind of living that an individual has without losing the interest he exerts everyday.
While Andy was talking about his thoughts about his career and his short-term plans, I stared at him with my mind filled with irrelevant thoughts about what I should do once I get home, what I would do in the next couple of hours and what my breakfast would be.
Anyway, at the back of my mind, I told myself: Would I be like them? Would I be able to sustain this kind of determination to handle responsibility? Yes, I work, but will I still want to do this in the next few years?
Relatively, some filipinos have a negative trait called ningas kugon; a habit in which an individual is driven to accomplish something and in the long run loses the will to continue. Regardless of the reasons or excuses provided for the sudden loss of interest, the trait hinders a person from being spontaneous in thoughts, goals, words and actions. By failing to realize the need to finish the task, people involved in the plans are slowly affected, thus creating a bigger flaw in the movement of goals on a bigger scale.
Passion, in this regard, may seem essential, as it pushes an individual to do more. In this society where one thinks it's hopeless to make a small thing matter, passion influences people to be more intrisically motivated, thus, making them more efficient in doing the things they really want to do. Because of this, even the smallest actions become important and even the simple thoughts are given life.
To answer my question: honestly, I have no idea.
Fast forward--He asked me a question this evening while we were having our usual Nutrilicious break.
"Are you happy?"
Then I smiled.
"You mean, with everything?"
"Yup, are you generally happy?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Why are you happy?"
It depends on how you define happiness; then I stopped for a split-second to figure out if what I said was correct.
People have different definitions of happiness. If you put it that way, it's like saying that happiness is relative. Is it?
I am happy because I have money, work and food.
More significantly, I am happy because I know I am loved. I know how imperfect I am but people still decide to understand me for who who I can never be. At times I feel frustrated that I cannot make things happen as I want them but I pull strings and at the end of each string, something good still happens. I am happy because I know how to love. To express this in so blunt a statement makes it sound insincere, but yes, I know how to give love. I can look at people and tell them that I can be so emotionally attached; no more, no less. Just love. Finally, I am happy because regardless of how flawed my world could be, I can still make ends meet. At the end of the day, I can still tell myself that Hallelujah, life is good.
If there is anything more I could wish for, it is for people to realize that they are happy to have me.
Going back to the question he imposed in our conversation, I looked at him, smiled, sipped the remaining contents of my cup and finally threw my yosi.
Just like a line from a movie, I told him, "I'm happy--well, not all day everyday, but yeah, everyday."
The topic was followed by the same bastusan and green jokes that we never grew out of.
Last question, however irrelevant this may be: Can something nutricious be delicious?
Of course. Haha.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Bob Ong Says
"Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."
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