Monday, September 28, 2009


Ten minutes to make this one. Sorry. I am slowly running out of poetic and figurative ideas for this entry.

Saturday, September 26, 2009:

I arrived at four in the morning in the hopes that my dad wouldn't be too mad because I stayed out late. It hadn't stopped raining. My father doubted my alibi, and was wondering why I used a different track in going home. I told him v. mapa was seriously flooded. I didn't want to walk through floods because the dump truck was there and the way I figured it out, the fluids gushing out of the truck would have made me sick. I didn't really realize I'd have done more than walking through floods until later the following day.

Why did I stay out until 4 am?

I had coffee at Starbucks with my workmate, Gles. She decided to meet up with someone, whom, I must admit, was seriously handsome for his age. Anyway, I stayed with them and had my lovely share of dark mocha frap. It was already 3:30. My hair was soaking wet, I wore a red dress in anticipation of October Fest, the so-called event for beer lovers and party goers. It turned out, that after going around Ortigas without umbrellas, we had to end up at Starbucks and stay there until the rain would finally stop.

Unfortunately, it didn't.

Jump jump, fast forward to the time I was already at home. I wanted to explain why even at 6 o'clock in the morning I was still up. It was because of 2 cups of coffee I had with Gles. It still hadn't stopped raining. My mom was already up and frantic about the awful weather. I was really amazed when my dad figured out a way to stop the flood from easily getting into our house. It was really effective. People were already trying their best to keep the water out of their houses, but it was already inevitable. It was there. The housekeeper in my cousin's house slowly tried to push the water out of their house; but instead of letting it out, the water has unfortunately found another avenue--my house.

It was 9 o'clock. The water was knee-high and awfully smelly. I had to help my dad because he was the only one carrying all the things from the living room to the bedroom on the second floor of the house. I really admire my dad. He felt a sharp pang in his chest but he didn't mind. He wanted to save all our things so he didn't stop. I felt guilty because I wasn't able to help him that much.

Anyway, it didn't take an hour before the flood had finally reached my crotch. Then from afar, while standing on the first step of our stairs, I saw Jesus-figurines my mom had kept for years. I was wearing a shirt and my underwear and in prayer of not getting any form of infection in my genital area, I dared cross the flood just to get the religious statues I didn't even believe in. I am not really a fan of religion and I have never really believed in the power of man made idols, but this incident made me believe in faith. It was like, I would have been more cruel if I had just let it float. My family believes in them. I told myself, in this time, maybe I should too.

This photograph was taken at 6 pm.
I wanted this flood to end. I wasn't only thinking of myself while saying this. I wasn't only thinking of my family or my friends. I was thinking of my neighbors and their families and pardon if it sounds too patriotic and surreal but yes, I was thinking of my country. I wasn't disturbed, I was depressed. I couldn't watch TV because the electricity had been cut off a few hours after the flood had started reaching fuse boxes from different houses. I wanted to hear how this flood had affected thousands of Filipinos all over Metro Manila.

Because of this flood, we left most of our appliances floating:
I had salted egg and tomatoes for dinner. My father wasn't able to prepare much food because he didn't expect a flood as bad as this one. We had to wait and pray that the flood wouldn't reach the ceiling of the living room, otherwise, it would reach the second floor. Other families experienced so much worse. They couldn't buy goods and they had to ask people to walk on roofs to buy cans of sardines from a nearby store. The store keeper had to bring all the items to her bedroom on the second floor of the house.
The men had to stay on the roofs of their houses. While pretending to be on guard of all residents from possible crimes and fires, they tried to ease tension by singing Filipino songs and as if those things were not enough, some of my neighbors even played Hillsong music on their phones which, on a matter of hours would definitely go off.

These people were aware of the misfortune that struck them, yet they didn't mind, or if they did, they didn't want to be too emotional about it. Let this picture be a good example:
While these things were happening, I asked myself three things:

1. Where are those politicians who gave hints of possible running for presidency? In Davao or in other far-flung areas, where they tried to publicize themselves for the upcoming elections?

2. Why did the baranggay officials in my community have to ask for a list of residents who were victims of the flood? Aren't we all victims of the flood? In these times, would it still matter to them whether these people had enlisted or not?

3. When will this flood subside?

I didn't realize I was still thinking of the answers in my dream until the time I woke up.

Sunday. September 27, 2009

I woke up at 6:30 and was pleased to see that the flood has drastically subsided to a leg-high. My father was already cooking rice for breakfast and had already started sweeping the water out of the house. All the grime, mud and dirt stayed on the floor and there was only one thing in my head while staring at the Ondoy aftermath:

It's gonna be a long day.

It was, indeed. My sisters started getting all the things that floated on the flood. The photo frames, all the medals I got from grade school, the medals and trophies my siblings got, the bottles of vinegar, soy sauce, ketchup, etc.

My neighbors started taking all their things out of the house for cleaning.

They were all talking about it, trying to make a big joke out of it, like nothing big really happened. It was funny and at the same time traumatic. It was, how should I put it? Sad, perhaps? We spent a lot of money putting up our lives in this community and we're going to spend a lot more in trying to relive it, patching it up until things are back to how they once were.

While cleaning, I saw this article in the newspaper, about a celebrity who had to climb up the roof to be rescued by another celebrity on a speedboat. Another actress was trapped in her house and had no choice but to stay on the third floor of her house.

Truly, this calamity proves that natures chooses no class, no race, no social status. It doesn't need ugly houses to hit. It doesn't choose who should suffer. Apparently, even those who are not sinners [as a facebook user may have put it] became victims. It was very random, thus very fair. In that perspective, nature has become really amusing.

Another Filipino trait has resurfaced in these times. I believe, from what I have seen, the Filipino concept of Bayanihan is not dead. It has never been. I saw it in my neighbors as they did random favors without asking for anything in return. I saw it in my father as he tried to fix stoves for 5 of our neighbors and it was really remarkable [he was only able to fix three, but that's hardly the point]. On my way to work, people tried their best to help other people in clearing out trash on the road. My neighbors helped my father in carrying some of our appliances. More importantly, people who were fortunate not to experience flood did their best in providing support to those who suffered. Thank God, even the government somehow did its part by conducting search and rescue operations in the course of the calamity. If these actions are still not enough to prove my point, there are thousands of websites that we can use to see how the Filipinos become kind enough to concerned other Filipinos.

Actually, I can't end this post.

There is only one thing can say though:
The worst part is over, thank God.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The 10-Minute Meditation

I only had ten minutes to write this entry so forgive me for the errors whatsoever.

I think I've grown out of the things I used to love doing. I started Jeffrey Archer's Paths of Glory last night and I realized I couldn't make sense out of the words I read. It was like staring at the words and the words were shouting their definitions at me. I felt deaf and mute, not to mention stupid.


I've always wanted to apply changes but god, I don't know where to start. When laziness strikes, I always tell myself there are many days I can use for catching up but I always end up being unproductive. So far I only came up with these few empty goals.

1. I want to clean the house
2. I want to read more
3. I want to study
4. I want to go to school and get my transcript of records
5. I want to save money

Apparently, I haven't started doing any of these aforementioned plans. What's happening to me?


People but in and bug other people's lives because of three things:

1. They want to be noticed
2. They are afraid to be considered irrelevant
3. They feel that they have something to say on other people's lives.

Isn't it a lot better if people could just let other people live their lives regardless of the mistakes they may commit? Concern is good, but interference is a different story. As people start meddling in other people's affairs, they become less interested with how their lives turn out. Aren't they afraid of that? Sooner or later instead of talking about other people, they'd be the ones being talked about--negatively.

I don't know whether being "epal" [attention seeker] is an effect of upbringing or tradition, either way, let's not hope it grows as a trademark of Filipinos. It's not something I can be proud if I'd ever be one.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Bland Post

I'm losing will to write. This isn't me. If this continues, I'd stop using this blog and close all other journals I have on the net. This is frustrating. :|

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Monday, September 7, 2009

You Oughta Know-Alanis Morissette

I want you to know, that I am happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

1-'Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you
To be open wide,
No And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me
You'd hold me until you died
Till you died, but you're still alive

2-And I'm here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well,
I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face
How quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you f... her?
(rpt 1,2) Ohh... aah... ahh... ahh...

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed
That was me and I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails
Down someone else's back I hope you feel it
Well, can you feel it? (rpt 2, 2...)


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni

One review for this movie coming really soon.

In the Orchard by Muriel Stuart

In the Orchard

1. 'I thought you loved me.' 'No, it was only fun.'
2. 'When we stood there, closer than all?' 'Well, the harvest moonWas shining and queer in your hair, and it turned my head.'
3. 'That made you?' 'Yes.' 'Just the moon and the light it made
4. Under the tree?' 'Well, your mouth, too.' 'Yes, my mouth?'
5. 'And the quiet there that sang like the drum in the booth.
6. You shouldn't have danced like that.' 'Like what?' 'So close,
7. Whith your head turned up, and the flower in your hair, a rose
8. That smelt all warm.' 'I loved you. I thought you knew
9. I wouldn't have danced like that with any but you.'
10. 'I didn't know, I thought you knew it was fun.'
11. 'I thought it was love you meant.' 'Well, it's done.' 'Yes, it's done.
12. I've seen boys stone a blackbird, and watched them drown
13. A kitten... it clawed at the reeds, and they pushed it down
14. Into the pool while it screamed. Is that fun, too?'
15. 'Well, boys are like that... Your brothers...' 'Yes, I know.
16. But you, so lovely and strong! Not you! Not you!'
17. 'They don't understand it's cruel. It's only a game.'
18. 'And are girls fun, too?' 'No, still in a way it's the same.
19. It's queer and lovely to have a girl...' 'Go on.'
20. 'It makes you mad for a bit to feel she's your own,
21. And you laugh and kiss her, and maybe you give her a ring,
22. But it's only in fun.' 'But I gave you everything.'
23. 'Well, you shouldn't have done it. You know what a fellow thinks
24. When a girl does that.' 'Yes, he talks of her over his drinks
25. And calles her a--' 'Stop that now, I thought you knew.'
26. 'But it wasn't with anyone else. It was only you.'
27. 'How did I know? I thought you wanted it too.
28. I thought you were like the rest. Well, what's to be done?'
29. 'To be done' 'Is it all right?' 'Yes.' 'Sure?' 'Yes, but why?'
30. 'I don't know, I thought you where going to cry.
31. You said you had something to tell me.' 'Yes, I know.
32. It wasn't anything really... I think I'll go.'
33. 'Yes, it's late. There's thunder about, a drop of rain
34. Fell on my hand in the dark. I'll see you again
35. At the dance next week. You're sure that everything's right?'
36. 'Yes,' 'Well, I'll be going.' 'Kiss me...' 'Good night..’ 'Good night.'


1. What differences exist in the dialogue of the two speakers? How do those differences characterize the tone of the speaker’s voice?

Voice, persona, speaker

In the poem there are two different speakers. The first speaker is a girl and the second speaker is a boy. Both of the speakers are probably in their adolescent stage. [Lines 34-35] Their dramatic monologue and dialogue have shown that they have two different ideas and opinions on a particular subject—love. [Line 1]
Tone, perspective

Attitude of the speaker toward the subject

The first speaker manifested a remorseful tone and disappointment that her feelings were reciprocated by the boy whom she loved. Her feelings on the time of their encouter were sincere. On the other hand, the boy did not really intend to love the girl as he mentioned that it was only fun and that everything was just a game. [Lines 1 and 17]

Fresh or surprising perception of the extraordinary in the ordinary

In the dialogue, the girl knew that men often treat women as games but she insisted on loving the boy since she was expecting that he had treated her differently as compared to how men treat other women. [Lines 15 and 16] Similarly, the boy had an assumption the the girl knew and accepted what they had, thinking that she was like other women. [Line 28]

2. What do the questions, ellipses and the repeated words contribute to the poems tone?

a. Arrangement of words, phrases and lines
The words used by the poet conveyed both of the speakers’ subtle emotions toward each other. The questions given by the woman show that she’s confused as to the real emotions given by the man. She wanted to find out if the guy didn’t really feel love for her. She couldn’t believe that the man only treated her as nothing but mere fun and games.

The girl’s repetition of the boy’s lines shows her disbelief over the boy’s statements and her desire to clarify her assumptions with the boy. The poet’s style of repetitions of “it’s done” [Line 11] and “what’s to be done” [Lines 28 and 29] have exceptionally shown a change in the semantic impact of the poem, these lines underlying implications that the girl and the boy did something more than just a kiss and a dance. It can also be said that the boy may have done something more sensual to the girl, as in the context of sex [Lines 22 and 26]. Another evidence is the presence of metaphors comparing girls to a blackbird drowned and to a kitten as it was pushed to a pool and thinking of these acts as fun [Lines 12 to 14].

b. Punctuation
The ellipses show that there are some thoughts that both speakers would have wanted to say but they couldn’t. When the girl said that she had to go, the ellipsis in her statement would have implied that she wanted to say something about what happened between her and the man but she didn’t get the courage to speak because she found out that everything was meaningless to the boy. [Line 32] The ellipses on the boy’s statements however showed that regardless of some positive statements that he siad about girls, he wanted to point out it was all plain fun for him and what happened between him and the girl meant nothing [Lines 19 to 22].

Naming of Parts by Henry Reed


1. Each stanza of “Naming of Parts” contains two distinct voices. Where do the first voice end and the second begin? Describe and characterize each voice.

Henry Reed’s poem "Naming of Parts," talks about a British sergeant-instructor delivering a lecture to his green recruits on the various parts of a rifle. Reed based the poem on his experiences in the Royal Army Ordnance Corps from 1941-1942.
As seen on the previous page, each stanza includes two voices; the first voice comes from the instructor who taught his recruits on the proper cleaning of the weapon [line 2], has taught parts of a rifle [lines 1 and 4] throughout the lecture and to be followed the next day by teaching what should be done after firing [line 3].

The second voice on the other hand refers to the thoughts of a recruit during the time that the parts of the rifle are being named. While the instructor explains the parts, his mind wanders, and along various lines of the poem the recruit’s inner monologue manifests that he is trying to make sense of what he is being taught.

Several lines have shown in the poem that these two voices refer to two different things. While the instructor aims to teach concepts about weapons used in war, the recruit tries to use the instructor’s words in thinking of a different place in which weapons and war are inexistent. [Lines 28 and 29]

2. Pinpoint the place where the two voices converge. What is the effect of their convergence?

In the first stanza, the instructor’s statement on the “naming of parts” [lines 1 and 4] refers to the explanation on the parts of a rifle. On the other hand, the recruit’s “naming of parts” [lines 6 and 30] refers to the elements manifested by the presence of Spring. Consequently, as the first voice explains the parts on the second stanza, he mentions that there are some which the recruits’ guns “have not got” [line 10]. This implies that the instructor is using an older version of a rifle which includes the parts as mentioned in the poem. The recruits are using newer versions of the rifle which do not have some of the given parts. The recruit also uses the same statement [lines 12 and 28] imposing two different ideas. On line 12, he says “which in our case we have not got”, which means that they do not experience the beauty of spring [lines 10 and 11] because of the war. On line 28, he mentions the lines “which in case we have not got”. This means that in the absence of rifles and of the war, they would be able to experience the silence and the beauty of nature during Spring.

The lines that include “easing the spring” have different meanings based on the structure and the source. “Easing the spring” [line 22] shows the action of moving the cartridges of the rifle toward the breech. The recruit on the other hand, mentions the same statement twice [lines 24 and 25] in which spring is written with an uppercase S. This changes the context of the line, since Spring refers to the season instead of the part of the rifle.

The use of the instructor’s last lines as the recruit’s first words shows the convergence in the sense that their statements are given spontaneously during the time the lecture is taking place. While the instructor tries to teach the parts of the rifle, the recruit uses significant parts of the lecture to imagine a place that exists in the absence of war [lines 25 to 30].

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Jing is...

On hiatus. For a change.

Before I start working again, let me just ask you this:

Should I wait? Because I don't know. I am lost. In these times, when I think I need answers more than ever, I just become more confused, baffled, stationary and stranded. It's like I always hope and pray that things will get better but they don't. It's becoming a vicious cycle. I am not happy about it. In fact, I don't know what to feel anymore.