Meet the Robinsons

Lewis: Look, I'm sorry your life turned out so bad. But don't blame me you messed it up yourself. You just focused on the bad stuff when all you had to do was... let go of the past and keep moving forward...

I am Responsible for My Rose

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-Antoine Saint Exupery

I have always had that mantra since I first read it in grade school. I marveled at the beauty of its words, the profoundness of its meaning and the thought that, as far as values are concerned, this never ceases to remind me of what is timelessly true: that we humans should see not just with our eyes, but also with our hearts.

We have what we call the transcendent values, those which do not become outdated. They live on for centuries and the absoluteness of these values defies the concept of change. If you look at the quote, ponder on it and think about its relevance to life, in the end we'd come realize, it is true. The values of the most important things in this world are constant through the years. The belief of a supreme being is transcendent, his existence is yet to be proven but he is worshipped and praised for his greatness. The value of life does not change regardless of the change in time and space. All humans deserve the glory of living. We do not see these things, we do not touch them but within us, we feel their worth.

When we possess immaterial things like love for and from our partners and sturdy affection from our families, we tend to overlook the price of these ties because we shift our focus to matters of consequence, those things that we think truly matter. We think about salary, promotion, incentives, expenses, debts and savings. By doing so, we look past through the thoughts of spending time with what matter above everything else–people who give meaning to almost every day of our lives.

They say that with forming values come intellect and will. True enough, nothing is willed unless it is first known. The passion and will are super ceded by realizing and knowing true worth. If everyone would only see what really is essential, if everyone could only try to look past what they can hold and see, maybe, just maybe, life will be a lot easier and gratitude will never be difficult to express.

Twelve

Yey. :|

Children of Bangkal

I miss these children.

I want to go back to Bataan soon.

I want to play with them again.

Back to the Meaning of Life

Andy, Borgy and I have a midnight routine of walking from Emerald Avenue to Shaw Boulevard. On the way, we always stop at Nutrilicious to sit down and talk about issues at work and at home. Andy buys green tea, Borgy buys his mango drink, and I always go for chocolate. We smoke, laugh and sometimes sit in silence, not because we run out of words but perhaps we just want to have our share of private thoughts.

We go over frustrations at work. We think about what would happen in the next few days. Andy talks more so most of the time, Borgy just counters his claims or gives his opinions on the issues and I just listen and respond whenever I deem appropriate. At some point in our conversation last Friday, Andy initiated a topic about the path that he passionately aims to take.

Passion, as I see it, is a term so profound yet so commonly misused these days. It may refer to an intense desire to do something, or a flaming will to have somebody. Sexually, passion begets passion by an individual who expresses with no holds barred. Intellectually, it may involve religious yearning for knowledge. Professionally, it may refer to sustaining the kind of living that an individual has without losing the interest he exerts everyday.

While Andy was talking about his thoughts about his career and his short-term plans, I stared at him with my mind filled with irrelevant thoughts about what I should do once I get home, what I would do in the next couple of hours and what my breakfast would be.

Anyway, at the back of my mind, I told myself: Would I be like them? Would I be able to sustain this kind of determination to handle responsibility? Yes, I work, but will I still want to do this in the next few years?

Relatively, some filipinos have a negative trait called ningas kugon; a habit in which an individual is driven to accomplish something and in the long run loses the will to continue. Regardless of the reasons or excuses provided for the sudden loss of interest, the trait hinders a person from being spontaneous in thoughts, goals, words and actions. By failing to realize the need to finish the task, people involved in the plans are slowly affected, thus creating a bigger flaw in the movement of goals on a bigger scale.

Passion, in this regard, may seem essential, as it pushes an individual to do more. In this society where one thinks it's hopeless to make a small thing matter, passion influences people to be more intrisically motivated, thus, making them more efficient in doing the things they really want to do. Because of this, even the smallest actions become important and even the simple thoughts are given life.

To answer my question: honestly, I have no idea.

Fast forward--He asked me a question this evening while we were having our usual Nutrilicious break.

"Are you happy?"

Then I smiled.

"You mean, with everything?"

"Yup, are you generally happy?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Why are you happy?"

It depends on how you define happiness; then I stopped for a split-second to figure out if what I said was correct.

People have different definitions of happiness. If you put it that way, it's like saying that happiness is relative. Is it?

I am happy because I have money, work and food.

More significantly, I am happy because I know I am loved. I know how imperfect I am but people still decide to understand me for who who I can never be. At times I feel frustrated that I cannot make things happen as I want them but I pull strings and at the end of each string, something good still happens. I am happy because I know how to love. To express this in so blunt a statement makes it sound insincere, but yes, I know how to give love. I can look at people and tell them that I can be so emotionally attached; no more, no less. Just love. Finally, I am happy because regardless of how flawed my world could be, I can still make ends meet. At the end of the day, I can still tell myself that Hallelujah, life is good.

If there is anything more I could wish for, it is for people to realize that they are happy to have me.

Going back to the question he imposed in our conversation, I looked at him, smiled, sipped the remaining contents of my cup and finally threw my yosi.

Just like a line from a movie, I told him, "I'm happy--well, not all day everyday, but yeah, everyday."

The topic was followed by the same bastusan and green jokes that we never grew out of.

Last question, however irrelevant this may be: Can something nutricious be delicious?

Of course. Haha.

I Miss You Mama.